Author's Note: I wrote this poem describing the feeling of flying. This was based on the book Maximum Ride- The Angel Experiment by James Patterson. In the book, the main characters are kids who are 98% human, 2% bird. This poem tells the emotions of flying while also describing the scenic beauty of the view up in the sky.
Departing...
From the peaceful jade forest
Capturing...
The beauty of the grand clouds up above
Seeing...
The tiny world shrinking as you rise up into the sky
Escaping...
From the restricting world beneath
Soaring...
High above the clouds
Feeling...
The wind on your face
Racing...
Joyful members of the flock
Falling...
Back down to the earth below
This was really good. I liked how you put a verb after every line... Good Job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked that it sounded really cool and I also like how there is a verb before every line.
ReplyDeleteI love how you set the poem up, like how it looks symetrical and how it has a story kind of.
ReplyDeleteI really liked that poem. I liked how you did the one word, and then kind of explained it. It was a really enjoyable poem to read
ReplyDeleteI really like how you really brought the reader into the story. You could feel like you were actually there. One thing that I would suggest is you could maybe use a couple of more descriptive words and even make an even ore clearer vision of the story as you know it. Otherwise, I really liked it. Nice Poem!!
ReplyDeleteNice job! I really like the sound of the poem with the verb after everyline! I do agree with Chandler though maybe next time use some more describing words. Otherwise I thought is was really good!
ReplyDeleteThat was a really good poem! You might want to think about changing your faunt color, because it was kindof hard for me to read, but it could just be me.
ReplyDeleteI liked this poem alot. I liked how you went through the different sences describing the seen. Gret job!
ReplyDeleteDid you mean for the poem to be a shape poem (a poem written so the lines and words form a picture)? Becasue I think if you did it sort of worked. If you didn't, see if you want to try that.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you described the scene, because it helped a lot with trying to visualize the poem. You might want to try expending it to see if you can make it even better.
ReplyDelete