Flames erupting
Almost swallowing us whole
Running around in circles
Trying to escape
Managing to exaust ourselves
We hear the witnesses shouting to us
"Are you in there?"
"Are you safe?"
Door after door
crashing down
Brave men stepping in
coming to save us
dissapointed when we are
nowhere to be found
the nice lady next door
screams as we are spotted
at the top of the building
the flames on our tails
forcing us to jump...
That's really scary! It's a good visual of a fire in a house or apartment. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteThat's really awesome and descriptive! Did something like that ever happen to you in life because it was very realistic!
ReplyDeleteThis is scary and really dramatic! I want to knw what happens next, you add good mystery to the poem.
ReplyDeleteWow this is good. It really does feel like it was written from an actual experience. I am not sure why you skipped lines between. I'm not sure that added anything to the poem, but sort of distracted me.
ReplyDeleteThat's creepy Cara...in a good way. It was suspenseful and I kept wanting to know what happened next.(What did happen?)
ReplyDeleteWow. This poem is awesome. I like how you left off at the end. It leaves you imagining what happens next. That's what you were trying to do, right?
ReplyDeleteWow this is so cool and very close to me. I love how there's a sound of danger but not worry in the poem. You are an excellent poetic writer.
ReplyDeleteThats soooo scary! Im like sad about it. You put a lot of voice or something in it, and it was really good!
ReplyDelete