Friday, November 20, 2009

River

It is hot out. The praire sun is beating down on us through a cloudless sky. I am on a river boat. It is very crowded. It's a small boat and every lady is wearing a dress like it's 1886. Are all these people pioneers? Are they heading west? There are animals aboard, but the one that sticks out most to me is the donkey. Now it's a cargo boat. Oh no! I realize where I am. If I'm right...

3 comments:

  1. The way you trailed off at the end was a good idea. It makes you really anxious to find out what happens. But I think your sentences might be a bit too short. But other than that, it's great.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think you might be able to turn this into a poem, like an epic style that tells a story.

    ReplyDelete
  3. This is a good post. You have a good way to paint a picture in peoples heads. This would be a good poem. Questions within writing like poems really make an effect on the reader.

    ReplyDelete

Hello please leave your comment here!= )